Here's a quick intro to my blog. It's basically about the nothingness in my sad existing life, or lack there of.... Here's a peek into my world =) yes.... it's strange and dark, and sometimes, it's amusingly weird and pathetic... If ya dun know me and wanna chat, IM me at "Mr Harrry Potter" that's 3 "r"s pay attention! =)
Thursday, July 31, 2003
In a galaxy far, far away, there was this bored lil boy nicknamed Harry (as in harry potter, but not the same). He started a blog cuz he was bored outta his mind. He really didn't know what to write, or how to write cuz english was one of his lousiest subjects. He liked reading but he could never put his thoughts into eloquent, flowery passages of poetry. So he kept writing, and writing, and then he said "screw this! I ain't never going to be a writer!" So lil ole Harry gave up and banished his blog to never never land.
But behold! One day, again in a galaxy far far away, lil ole harry got bored outta his mind and decided to post again! Why? I dunno... I think he just went bored nuts! Beah...
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Once upon a time, there was a little girl living in a distant land called "conneticut." Now may have heard of this fabled land for its vast stretches of nothingness and extreme emptiness (empty both of sanity and a night life, not that i have either).
So one day, this little girl was driving home, and 4 minutes into her 4 and a half minute commute, she turned into her little dead end street where her little house is. She merrily followed the car in front of her and SUDDENLY the car in front of her SWEARVED to avoid a precious little dead cat lying in the middle of the road... Immediatly, she started to pray to the gods of atheism (there are none stupid!) that she would just pass over the corpse without her tires touching the poor dead corpse.... And according to Murphy's law, we all know that this ain't happenin...
So she pulls into her lovely lil driveway up to her lovely lil house she rented and calls her nice and loving friend Alan only to tell him that she's afraid to exit out of the car to find dead cat parts smeared along her car.... "Ha!" said Alan when he heard the news! "You don't know how much this is amusing me!" Little did she know that Alan was thinking "if this was a guy calling me, i would have hung up, drove over to him, ripped his licence from his wallet and burned it" but being the nice guy he was, he laughed it off and calmed her nerves to the point she could get out without going insane...
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
Arf! Ha! Made ya look!
Saturday, January 04, 2003
Defensive driving my ass.... just took a defensive driving course today with my mom. It was offered by her Union and we took it to reduce our insurance rates. What the heck did I learn? 4 things, of which only 2 may be reasonably useful...
Let's go down the list in the order I learned them. First thing I learned. Don't break when you're about to hit a deer. Very useful bit of information considering I live in Bensonhurst. I'll keep that in mind when I hit a guido. For some reason, the physics of hitting a deer while you break causes the deer to come at an angle directed towards the windshield. Not a good thing. Best thing to do is to just take your foot off the accelerator and cruise. For some reason, the deer will only be deflected to the side.
Second point. C.A.T.S. is a useful thing i learned. It's some acronym for a police program to assist in the prevention of auto theft. Here's an example. Lets say you work all day long from 9 to 5. You don't use your car, you use mass transit. So does the rest of your family. So its reasonable to assume that your car should be parked through those hours. If you participate in this program, a sticker will be placed in your windshield that will authorize the police to stop your car if they see it being used during the hours from 9 to 5 and verify that the drivers are the owners of the car. There are several different stickers for different times and restrictions. Fairly useful info.
Third thing i learned. When you hit an animal, you gotta stop and wait for the police to come. Otherwise you get a fine if any animal lover calls you in. Here's where it get's interesting. It use to appy to dogs and larger animals. That's until some stupid animal lover whom stopped for a cat to cross witnessed that cat get creamed by a guy who was impatient and passed on her left. Guess what, she was an animal lover and got really pissed off. She also happened to be some politicians wife or something. SO.... she went and copied his license plate number and bitched and found out it only applied to dogs and bigger. So then she got really pissed, bitched to some bigger politicians, and a week later, guess what happened.... cats are added.... Wait, it gets stupider..... guess who hears about this? Some stupid animal lover organization like PETA or something... they get pissed that it only applies to cats and bigger.. what about the people who own ferrets and turtles that they let cross the streets? or the gerbils and hamsters? so basically, anything that has blood and you consider a mammal, you gotta stop.... friggin ______!!!! Argh!!!!
Last thing... tires need a quarter inch of tread...
That's all i learned in FOUR FRIGGIN HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 02, 2003
I'm back!!! Haven't gotten my Palm to work, but screw it. I'll use this for other crap like practicing my attempts to write some faintly poetic/artistic crap that everyone else manages to spit out on their blog spot... HA!!! So what the heck to write? god dammit... i already have writers block.... sweet....